In The Kingdom of One

In the kingdom of one,

I was enslaved as my own serf.

I didn’t even recognize myself

When you found me.

Without warning,

You were thrust upon my world,

And everything about me was gone.

I felt nothing but an ache for your soul.

You grooved amongst my universe,

And I was lit from within

By all that valor and chivalry

Streaming from the land of the knights

So long ago.

All our jousting tore through my rusted armor,

And I was naked and set free

Because I had you

Inside

The real me.

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The Truth

I was lost when you found me

stirring alone

Like a breeze, vacant and cold.

I was between love and indifference

When you tapped my shoulder.

I thought it was rather bold.

I got lost when you found me,

In your eyes.

They are so intense.

I got scared when I felt you.

Love doesn’t make sense.

So now I am lost,

Stirring alone,

Looking vacant and cold

As that place between love and indiffernce.

I’m harboring the truth.

It is rather bold.

I still love you.

I am having a hard time

I am having a hard time.

I don’t want to run into you,

Or think about you,

Or pass by your place.

I am having a hard time.

I don’t want to be sad,

Or get sick to my stomach,

Or feel tears on my face.

I am having a hard time.

I just want to smile again,

And be at ease,

And find my inner grace.

The end of our affair

Has taken its toll on me.

I fell in love, I swear.

I am not the girl I used to be.

Although my heart is frail,

It will mend in time,

Grow empty and stale,

Still, it’ll be mine.

Memories and Regrets

Memories and regrets keep me trapped inside this room

I’d like a blank page to start this life over again

The writing is all wrong

Or the righting is wrong

I feel this pain growing

As you are out there happy

And free

I would like a new life for me

I’m reflecting on all the mistakes I’ve made

All the times when it was only you and me

And I couldn’t stand

And I wouldn’t speak

Those things on my mind

And now you are out there

Happy and free

And there is no room in your life for me

The Great Void

The distance that has come between us

Has thinned your love out,

And my heart feels each beat it makes

Without you here by my side.

I feel the chill of the storm coming

In the distance that blankets

What I once mistook as the future,

Clearly, it’s our past over which I’ve cried.

I do not wish my pain upon anyone.

It is more desolate here than I ever imagined.

The end of our love affair brings isolation,

Along with this love I must now hide.

Hunting

You branded me an outcast,

so I lurk amongst the shadows,

and all that lies between here and your imagination.

You don’t feel more than a chill,

and the only doubt you have within you

is if a window was left open as your body tries to

hold onto its heat.

I seep beyond what you see and feel as your mind

tries to break free and distract you from the sound

of my cries.

I hunger for a piece of your soul and being ignored

is not part of my charm.

As you soothe your spirit with a little music,

I entwine myself within the arranging sounds,

and the very thought of is me born into your

subconscious.

Every moment I am there capturing

another dimension where this love will go forth in

infinity.

You will not escape me.

We are all gods….

Everything you put out there is your own little creation. It could be a work of art, a child, words of hate or love, a piece of advice, your first kiss, or your last. Once it is out there, it is out there, living a life of its own. Unless you trap it, like a firefly…never letting it move beyond your clasp.

I imagine a kiss…the very first one shared with the former love of my life. It was so sweet and perfect. I didn’t know then that he was not just my boyfriend, but had another girlfriend in Milwaukee where his mom lived. The kiss, ruined by his deceit, still travels through time and space, but I wonder if it is playful or yearning, biting, or barely there, lingering on, wistful through all elements in space, time, and magic. I know, I think way too much about things that should be so simple as just to be.

I feel we are gods in our own right. We create everyday and what we have done doesn’t just end right there. A thought lingers on, a child lives, art gets recognition.

Heed my words here: hold all you do and say, live and breathe, create and obtain with respect because it lives on once it is out there, and someday it just may come back to you in the form of a memory or even a smile or a simple thank you. The life that anything you create lives on once it is out of your clasp, is a part of the elements living a life of its own, even if that life is purely within your imagination….now, just consider my words, and and go ahead and set your mind on fire with the possibility of a little bit of pure power.

When I leave this place, I will still be here haunting the lives of those who hurt me. I am a funny girl. A spunky girl. Nobody really knew what to expect from me, and I could never live up to those expectations anyway. I made my way through time and it has been a long and lonely ride for this lightning bug.  I was mocked for every single thing about me. I was misunerstood and not welcomed here. I took my own path but all that was done and said about me was too stifling….I felt trapped within an air-tight jar…see the world, but never really get to touch it.  I would much prefer something comfortable, so be careful what you do, say, create, because it can easily kill the glow of the firefly.