Love has the graveyard shift

Some fade

Some soar

Their dreams creep

Upon a hallowed floor

Warmth eludes me

As does sleep

Without a tiny sob

Or the faintest peep

They’ll never know

That I’m afraid to sleep

The constant poke

Of a frigid finger

Reminds me that

I let love linger

In the chill

Of six feet deep

The space where

Sunshine fails to sweep

To the darkness up above me

For my children really do love me

I pray the Lord

My soul to keep

So don’t come near

Don’t you weep

I’m awaiting an angel

For the climb is too steep

Be on your way

Leave this dirt heap

Through your darkened heart

My love couldn’t seep

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I want to see your name on a headstone

Maybe a nice cross stitch scene

Upon your lips

Will show you what I mean

Your cruel words are whips

The consonants and vowels

Released like excrement from your mouth

As the stuffy air fouls

Announce you’re flaccid north and south

You are a gutless soul

With a frozen heart

And truth be told

I’m why the kids are happy and smart

The Incredible Houdini-Act of My Self-Esteem

Walking around

With cement feet

That sink me down

Upon the street

The spark is gone

A dreadful soul

I carry on

My truth unfolds

A great mistake

In my birth

I’ve tried to fake

My self-worth

The heavens frown

If  I am seen

Walking around

With hopes and dreams

Upon my walk

I have felt

The empty hand

I was dealt

A couple passes by

Holding hands

I begin to cry

Now my soul commands

Later in the hours of the dark

When time stands still

Like a bottle of Maker’s Mark

Smashed at the bottom of the hill

I’ll end time’s reign

As champion of my life

The guilt and pain

Its bloody knife

A fiery walk

My soul will begin

To see the devil balk

At letting me in

Blue Sky or Couch

Blue sky or couch

Inside I want out

I am a firefly

In a tightly sealed jar

About to die

Lucid dreams take me far

Yet my soul

That lump of coal

Will engulf into flames

A roll call of names

And never yours

Because upon distant shores

You are magical and light

Carless as the sun shining so bright

Blue sky or couch

I’m fading out

The light is slowly slipping away

Sadly, it was in the night we used to play

This firefly isn’t being freed

You’re gone but still all I need

unconditionally yours

All it took

Was just a look

My soul’s bruised hue was chased away

My mind locked in on you the very next day

You held me and I was a woman not some scared little girl

And you kissed me and brought the smiles back into my world

I never thanked you for easing me through that pain of mine

And for being the one I can’t forget with passing time

No matter where life takes you

Or how much your heart breaks you

The flip side of the space between our past and future doors

Is that my love for you is unconditionally yours

For the Former Love of My Life

I used to think I loved you

With those sad-soul eyes

And the guitar

You would talk to me

And my soul would flutter with reckless abandon

And the music in my head

You were my rock star

And the electric sex

Or at least what you had convinced me

I couldn’t give you more than my everything

So I began stealing from others

Hopes and dreams

I had none of my own

I was so enveloped within the aura of innocence

That you helped me nail and hammer together

I went on after we were through

And I made mistakes

With the burden of the loss of you

To find that you had married

Had children

Disastrous game of truth or dare

It seemed

More mistakes I made with clouded judgment

And little care

And I quickly was married

And it was painful

Because I thought I still wanted you

To others it was disdainful

And he thought I was nothing with no hope for repair

And he threw punches with free will at the empty despair

The hue of the aura of my love for you

Was now a shameful black and blue

There was a time that I thought that we’d find our way back

Set the place settings, clear the table

Hit the sack

Together

But I was wrong

You were never meant to be part and parcel of eternity with me

I made more mistakes

Became the spring of life for three

But never forgetting about us

Damn this life

Forget you I must

Hungry to

Chew up the memory of you

Into unrecognizable doubt

Or send it off in an emptier vessel

I have other memories and regrets to work out

I think I’m tried of thinking this through

I loved with a love that wasn’t true love

And yes, what a tangled web we weave

When we lie to ourselves yet still believe

stay green

With green-gray eyes I cry myself to sleep at night

And wish the angels will take me on a flight

To where you are

But where are you

Our last kiss in my car

Where our love was true

I can’t let it go

How could you not know

That I cry myself to sleep each night

Or stay awake through the morning light

Hoping that no matter where you are

Wherever that could be

That you remember how sad I was in my car

And that you’ll come find me

Beneath the surface you might see

The patina of this love is a grayish green

I can’t let you go

I need you to know

We should have been so much more

And if someday you’d walk through my door

We’ll need to kiss “Hello, again” in my car

And forlorn little me will have a mended heart

But I’m lying awake right now

The stars are about to take their final bow

In the sky tonight

That blankets us through the morning light

When I wish to always find you next to me

So this love will always stay green