Flak Jacket

Dear Readers,

I have reached the darkest of my days. I lack hope that light will reach me again. I will no longer fake my way through It.  I am sorry, but my sorrow runs deep.  I don’t know why it is always me feeling this way.  I abhor this life of constant heartache, filled with too many tears. 

This was written for the one who blacked out the hope. Turn the other cheek, and I do, even in despair…


Flak Jacket
If you’re ever overcome
By the rustling of the leaves
Listen with your heart
As history tells of ancient beliefs
The souls of the dead
Remained with essential gear
So when I pass away
I’ll stay very near
You’ll always have me
No matter when
If the trees are barren
They’ll be green soon again
Never feel alone
Forgotten or sad
I’ll live forever
In the love that we had 






31 thoughts on “Flak Jacket

  1. Quite wrenching, a poem wracked with love lost and a riven heart, yet verse filled with death and rebirth, of something new when spring reveals verdant boughs once again. Kudos to you for a superb addition to your blog.

    wishing you well-deserved joy, wonder, and laughter,

  2. Should this be true then you have come to the right place, we can never let you fall, never let your sadness last. Today is a special day in the way the stars and planets are aligned. The dark night of the soul comes to show us the way to the light … You are never alone …

  3. You will always have a small group of friends, who will stick by you, stick with you, no matter how bad things are, or seem to be. We are here, just reach out, say hi, we’ll always listen. 🙂

  4. I open my red hot tear filled eyes and see the deep footsteps on the sand – as deep as my sorrow. Then, I realise, I rest on your shoulders – as you carry me.

    I hug myself in pain, tight and hard. Then, I realise, these are your arms around me.

    I look in the mirror, gaze at myself – so lonely and miserable. Then, I realise, I am in a crowd of friends all looking out – for me.

    We live in the faith that God will not give us a burden so great that it will destroy us. He only tests us to bring out the best that He had gifted us.

    Alas, these poor words are but water off a duck’s back. But be assured – totally and absolutely assured, that you are not alone – never alone.

    My prayers for you, my dearest Eva.
    P/s My apologies for not been here sooner for you, as I’m experiencing computer glitches.

  5. Hello Eric,
    Your words are beautiful and calming.
    It’s been a terrible week and there’s a lot of pain surrounding the horrible affair that the idiot felt he must have and so ruined our marriage, as the other woman, to hurt him, me, and the kids got him fired and he somehow blames me. He calls me screaming everyday and my psyche cannot handle it. I’ve leaned on God…I think I knocked the old guy over because he’s not so supporting anymore. I keep trying. I beg people to make me laugh…it’s what gets me through.

    Thank you for being here for me and I know all too well of computer problems. I now only have my iphone and kindle fire to get online with


  6. Oh Eva, my heart goes out to you. I know what you are going through as I’ve been there. But do find it in your heart to forgive him and in so doing, you will heal and the pain will go. Thinking of you 🙂

  7. Hello Celestine,
    It’s difficult to forgive when he keeps kicking me and pouring salt into my wounds. His girlfriend causes a lot of trouble, too. Someday, it will be a distant memory.

  8. This is so powerful….it’s very visceral and honest, unflinching…you are a fantastic writer, and although we have just met I feel compelled to give you a matey hug.

  9. dear Eva,
    there are not many words that will relieve the agony that you are experiencing at this time…YOU will stay strong for your children. Might I suggest: Do NOT answer the phone! You need to protect yourself…your gentle self in order to stay strong for the children…and then, dear, find a trustworthy person to listen to you…you are “suffering”…and it normal…YOU are strong …be gentle with yourself!

  10. I tried to comment on this when it went up, but got booted out. I’ve only recently discovered your blog, but found and find your words very moving. We have all had dark nights of the soul. I send you positive energy fronm a stranger who would be willing to listen without judement.

  11. Hiding the darkness only makes it darker, leaves you more alone. I know, I’ve tried it both ways. I am glad you are writing about it. Sharing it unleashes the compassion of people, like your readers, like myself, who have been there, and who will urge you back into the light.

  12. I force myself out…errands, maybe a drink with an old friend, but home and my room and waiting fir the light to find me…that’s what I do. I wasted a long time with someone who cheated on me and cannot get the time back or ease the pain. Maybe someday.

  13. It does get better. I gave 25 years to a woman who did the same. It’s awful. It’s slow. But it’s possible. I’ll add you to my prayers. Keep putting yourself out there. Let your friends hug you.

  14. Of course you are blue. And stuff like that shows up again and again. But they get less. And they hurt less. But not as fast as we want, and at times, it seems endless. But it’s not. No one could have been in a blacker place than me. But I’m better. Life has light and joy and even, though I never thought it would, love and trust again.

  15. Tom is right. Light WILL come. It won’t come as quickly as you want, but it’s out there waiting. Just know that you are not alone. There are others out there who know and feel your pain. I wish I had better words to give you. I’m glad that you’re able to channel some of that pain into words and put it out there. I will be thinking of you.

  16. Heart-wrenching poem which resonated very much with me. Thanks for the follow. Now following you. Bow your head down against the wind and keep edging forward. It’s the only way. X

  17. “If the trees are barren
    They’ll be green soon again”

    these lines made me smile, considering how my “garden” just got razed. thank you.

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