Blessed I am
For I’m humble and meek
But cursed forever
Never finding what I seek
In the name of the father
My likeness falls short
Viewed with much disdain
Yet sinful to abort
And of the son
Love always escapes me
The sky an open field of diamonds
But darkness is all I see
And of the holy spirit
I’m ethereal and mild
But heavy is my burden
I’m easily beguiled
While one plus one plus one makes three
I’m empty along this desolate path
Forcing myself to grasp the truth
Subtracting three from nothing, I’m left with wrath

23 thoughts on “Tertiary

  1. I empathize your struggle. You write very well. I faced a similar struggle over 40 years ago. I turned to the Trinity as well where I found great comfort. Prayers for you that you do as well. Suffering has a way of converting us…we all travel the same path. No one on earth is perfect. I have fallen short so many times. Rest easy dear child. Your prayers are always heard…even in a poem.

  2. Yes it is difficult to believe or know in that for which we cannot see. However, faith is a difficult notion to grasp. I try to trust in a loving God or Trinity..Christ…and I always fall short. But one thing I am certain of is the mountains I make out of simple or difficult worries tend to lend themselves over to tears leading to comfort and I begin to realize it wasn’t as terrible as I had envisioned. I hope you do well with this and please feel free to visit and share as often as you like. We are all friends here.

  3. I am sorry for this to happen. I would love to share my views with you if I may. This behavior is never a good thing. We live in treacherous times. The espousal love of husband and wife is clearly very sacred. I truly, truly pray for more men to step up and come to embrace this pearl of advice to come to view the womb as a sacred place and essential gift. So many are blinded by their own ego, arrogance, and selfishness. It is a travesty to and for women, children, and life. I advocate magnanimously for the rights of women and children to be heard!! I can write hours on end about my suffering of a similar nature…peace please be with you!

  4. More men should be like you. His concubine had HPV and I’ve been scared that eventually I’ll get it because of his actions with her. My kids, while they are fine, I fear they’ll harbor pain because they’d hide it to keep me from being upset as they are protective of me.

  5. I am so sorry for your suffering! My prayers are with you and your children. Please, when you feel a need to communicate, I am willing to assist however suitable that may be.

    I on the other hand am a married gentleman and dearly love my wife…she is a Proverbs 31 woman and I embrace her values and love within my heart.

    But I do become saddened by the fixation some men have for this obsessive compulsive dysfunctional disorder that only drives them mad for love.

    I also view the espousal love, as well as my wife, to be a vehicle through which we may see our love as a perfect participation of Christ in and through a purely divine spiritual ecstasy which will inevitably linger for quite some time.

    I only wish to help. My wife and I are Christ-centered and will offer up prayers for you, your health, and your perfect children.

  6. John16:33 -“These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” So often we focus on our belief (subjective faith) while ignoring his word (objective faith), the “what” and “who” that we believe. His Holy Word and his spirit are the objects of our faith. Christ is seen most clearly in the Word of God. We all struggle to see him as the subject an ourselves as the object of his affection. Our humanity keeps climbing onto the throne where we don’t belong, seeing him as the object of our affections. Our thoughts and feelings are often our worst enemies. His Word is our only hope. He drives us to himself in this way often. He chastens who he loves. He has promised never to leave or forsake us. He was forsaken for our sake on the cross on our behalf. He suffered our punishment that we can’t even imagine, and he has prepared for us a place where eye hath not seen and ear hath not heard.

  7. I realize that circumstances can be overwhelming, but “solid” faith struggles daily. You are not alone. Luke 9:23 – “Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.”

  8. Here’s what works for me. I start off each day thanking God for another day and for all the Blessings He has given me throughout my life and I focus on the real important ones. That alone helps me to feel better and well connected with Him. God gives us all signs of what to do every day and they are very subtle at times but if you focus and pay attention and think about those signs in terms of Him, they will guide you to make the right decisions along your life’s path. I have been Blessed lately because I have seen those signs and they have lead me to a better place than I would have otherwise gone and my life is getting better and better because I have paid attention and have followed those that made sense to me. It can be done because I am proof of it for myself and I truly believe He has guided me to write this message to you and I pray that it helps you to see the light. May God Bless You and everyone who cares to try to understand. God does work in mysterious ways but He is there if you care to look for His guidance.

  9. This is magnificently written. You have a beautiful way with your words. May they bring you what you seek and give you peace and keep your head above the pounding waves. I could write so much more here…this is YOUR journey.These well wishes seem to be from people who have endured this or similar, and to me it is almost like we want to keep faith for you until you find your way (whichever it is) that it will lead you to the place where you may be restful and at peace with your circumstance and your God.
    May you sleep easy tonight knowing that even if you feel lost in your struggle (all it entails – physical/emotional/spiritual) that there are (reading these comments posted) many who wish to hold you by the hand through it.
    – let it be a symbol to you and help restore your faith in goodness – if nothing else.
    Ps – its ok to have it out with God 😉
    See we want to know God is there – He tells us to have blind faith like little children – yet like little children, we question and we want to know WHY?? Little children don’t stop loving their parents – no matter how awful they are; and even the best of parents get questioned…’but WHY’??
    Sometimes we have to say -‘cos I said so’ depending on the level of understanding they have; sometimes we explain in a myriad of ways until they understand – but the same thing is required in any circumstance -THEY have to trust us enough to listen to what we have to say.
    ‘How long oh Lord how long – must I wrestle with my mind – answer me my God – you who loves unfailingly’
    It took me five years after devastation to ‘wrestle’ through things with Him…and that was just the beginning. We can trust blindly – OR we can wrestle with Him for the answers. It is hard work though.
    And all that kept me sane and the two verses that kept my head on top of the waves not under (though I sometimes felt they were under – OFTEN actually) were;
    ‘And God works for the good of all who love Him’ and ‘Trust in the Lord with all of your heart, lean not on your own understanding; in all of your ways acknowledge Him – and He will make your path straight.’ (that does not mean I did not get really angry with Him and cry out madly for an answer (which always came in the hush of a moment or the words of a stranger – sometimes just the smile of my child or the tender emotion of a poem – or the words of my own writing…like a gong ringing in my ears! I would rant away in a poem and then after a while I would write another and it would answer something I had been wrestling with – if that makes sense??)
    One of my kids – trusts me blindly – no questions asked..the other two – hmmm…not so much!!!
    We are so individual…no two of us have the same relationship with our God as the other…only some few similarities.
    No one can give you answers – you will – if willing – ONLY get them over TIME by asking and looking and listening.’
    Be wise ‘seek first His kingdom and all these things will be added unto you’ and what you will find will bring you the desires of your heart.
    I will stop now – this is too long – my apologies..
    KEEP WRITING!!! They are beautiful!

  10. Eva, I don’t have much to say after such wonderful and well meaning comments.

    Trust in the Lord and know that even all these pain shall pass. May the peace of God that passes all understanding keep your heart and mind in Christ Jesus. Peace, love and hugs to you and the kids, Eva. You are in my0prayers dear friend. 🙂

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