Love on a Ventilator

The lies I tell myself
Are what’s left of my pride
My heart’s on a shelf
I’m dying inside
I feel like a wrung out cloth
As you surface in my mind
In my veins, a medicinal broth
Yet, only for you I’ve pined
I was just a dreamer
You were all my dreams
But truly just a schemer
Hope and trust torn from the seams
My heart thumps so loudly
When you’re all I’m thinking about
Clawed from my chest so proudly
Empty save self-doubt
I see you’ve moved on
As I’m keeping pretty still
These machines, I wish them gone
For it’s me I tried to kill
My soul to hell for trying
Please come see me there
An indulgence not worth buying
For the sin of my despair
So catch me when I fall
Dry the tears from my eyes
You’re the only one they’ll call
When this love finally dies


Nightmares shadow my waking life
They are ever-present and loiter around me
Placing so much weighted yet intangible strife
In the basic elements of all I see
The games of the child of my mind
The bent visions that cloud my day
Are either meant to protect or be unkind
In this hide-n-seek I’m forced to play
When the darkness creeps across the walls
With a flickering of light
The happiness that ignores my calls
Reigns divine beyond my sight
Torment strengthens as a storm within
These clouds never fade away
I feign a smile as my tears begin
The metamorphosis of inner decay

The Other Side of the Afterglow

With a bottle in my hand
And the waves’ lulling command
The moon’s daunting sight
Entrenches me in the night
The stars flicker in the sky
Just a blur through these tears I cry
I’ve been cold and lonely for a while
Disencumbered from any reason to smile
Even the absinthal lies
I’d cloaked within a honeyed guise
Have fallen prey to my lack of joy
In this abjection I find no decoy
Lost in the darkest of my days
When the laughter is misplaced
And the light dare not shine on
For the happiness has gone
The torture is hard to define
Drunken ice-chilled sips of wine
In search of a harmonious home
I wait and wade in this ocean of frozen foam